The learning ear

12.41 Servant leadership: The impossible dream?

During this brief overview of a very significant topic, I explore the pay-offs and the challenges of adopting a genuinely servant leadership approach.

I see far too much over-directive, 'this is what we will do' leadership. 

Servant leadership is more sophisticated, respectful and above all else, productive.

Servant leaders know intuitively that leadership is about facilitating the talent of all, not imposing a fragile ego on talented colleagues.

Don't get hung up on the 'servant' word: Slaves do what others want, while servants give what others need.

The picture is of the leadership anthology issued to British Army Officer Cadets at Sandhurst Military Academy - and has been since 1948. 

'Servant leaders don't think less of themselves, they just think of themselves less' Ken Blanchard.

Who would you rather have as your leader, or manager...Donald Trump or the Dalai Lama?

 

See this as a video with slides on my YouTube Channel via my website www.andrewgibbons.co.uk 

8.27 Direct quotes from Susan Cain’s ’Quiet’ pages 3-94

Susan Cains title for this challenging book is: 'Quiet - the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking'.

In order not to lose the value from the many hours invested in a thorough read, I note then type up what for me are the key quotes, the most impactful thoughts, then keep for my learning reference, and share them with my networks.

This is the first set of many from this book - see my website fwww.andrewgibbons.co.uk for 28 other book summaries.

8.37 Quotes from ’The Promise that Changes Everything’ P 73-134

Part three of my narration of selected direct quotes from this radical, challenging, and very accessible book.

Personally it has led me to see how little I say is of even interest to others; that I say what I say driven by what interests me, not the receiver; that listening without interruption is despite my real efforts, still out of my reach, and that to become a non-interrupting, genuinely attentive listener is a rarely seen and prized human.

 

0.56 I like this leadership definition

Nancy Kline, in 'The Promise That Changes Everything' defines leadership as 'The conscious creation of culture".

I really like this, it is concise and has complexity, simply explained.

If you accept my preferred definition of culture as 'the way things are done around here', then leadership surely sets the tone, by word and deed, and does indeed create the behaviours and words that are become the 'norm'.

What a leader does, and what a leader says (sometimes at odds with what is said), is culture creating, for good or not so good.

Thus the personal code of ethics and of behaviour of the leader is very significant, for this culture creation then impacts on everything else.

9.23 Quotes from ‘The Promise that changes everything‘ p28-64

This is the second set of direct quotes from Nancy Kline's challenging, practical, and radical book.

This is not complex theory or psycho-babble.

Here you will find, as I have, straightforward insights that can be used to make every contact with a fellow human work better.

Packed with 'I can try that today' thoughts, it is a rare gem that can truly make a serious and positive difference.

The messages may be clear and indisputable, the changes we need to make to a lifetime's bad conversational habits are as hard as it gets.

0.57 The projection of perfection obstructs learning

For more years than I care to consider I have been irritated by the 'yeah, we do all that', or, 'yeah, I know that' response when what I believe to be new and potentially powerful learning is presented to people who seem resistant to the very idea that they could do anything new, that could make any performance change for the better.

For many it seems to me that acceptance of a need to learn anything at all, or that anything they do is less than perfect is a self-esteem thing. 

It can sometimes seem as if such a thought is received as an insult to their infallibility and total command of what they do - and that anything I feel is new is not - 'yeah, they knew that'.

Oh really? What I see is so often different to those self perceptions. 

The self-defensive barrier to even the thought of learning I now call 'The projection of perfection'.

The truly mature, confident people are those I enjoy working with, as they have a hunger to learn and to improve. These are often the highest, and ironically best informed.

0.57 Three forms of reflection

Reflection to maximise learning can take one of three forms.

I feel we tend to use just one of these.

If we use the first better we will get a lot more from all three.

In less than a minute, learn something that could really make a serious difference...

4.03 Four types of interruption

In 'The Promise That Changes Everything - I Won't Interrupt you', Nancy Kline suggests that there are four broad 'types' of interruption:

Ourselves

Occurrences

Others

Assumptions

Our ability to manage and control the impact of these four determines the quality of the 'Thinking Environment' we create for ourselves, and ultimately of the results this generates.

0.53 I apologised!

This was a very unusual and surprisingly positive experience.

I knew I had got the tone and content of an email wrong.

It prompted a response I first shrugged off as 'unreasonable' - after, all how could I have been wrong?

After (too many?) days of reflection, the nagging in my head got the better of me.

My emailed apology was headed 'Apology', a clear and direct and concisely worded 'I was wrong' message followed.

No explanations, deflections, justifications, just a straightforward acceptance that I did the wrong thing.

This felt better than I thought it would. 

I don't want to go over the top, it was however a 'cleansing' experience, that pushed a voice in my head away and left room for the other stuff.

I wonder if this will give me the good sense to do this more often?

19.07 Numbers 7-9 Team Review Incisive Questions

With Rebecca Norton I discuss the key issues within and pay-offs from the use of the third batch of Nancy Kline's ('Time to Think') Incisive team or individual review questions.

Three final three being:

How would your work have to change to be exactly right for you?

If you were not holding back, what would you be doing?

What do we actually know now, that we are going to find out about in a year?

 

A lot more on this and many other free downloads at my website: www.andrewgibbons.co.uk 

 

         

 

4.58 Reverse the traditional training evaluation model

I feel we need to radically revisit the 'conventional' evaluation model.
Often attributed to Kirkpatrick, and with many variations, the linear reaction, learning, behaviour change, organisation effect model has a lot of value.

For me, it should, in the Covey mindset, 'start with the end in mind'.

How about this:

1. Precisely what sustainable changes do we seek after this that can be directly attributed to this programme?
2. What specific, and different improved performance behaviours are required to create the impact changes we seek?
3. What specifically does each individual need to learn that will create the platform for the enhanced behaviours sought?
4. What is the most efficient and effective plan for each individual to learn the new behaviours?

This is a bit raw, and will be polished, but I hope you see where I am going with this...

A focus from the start on tangible attributable impact and measurable value.
Recognition that individuals with unique and specific needs require tailored attention not as a group to be shoved onto training courses.

Lots more besides, but I know your time is always tight.

Any thoughts?

 

A lot more on this and many other free downloads at my website: www.andrewgibbons.co.uk 

1.00 Three ways to manage emotions under pressure

It's never easy controlling the impulse to react in high pressure situations, especially if you feel, often with justification, others are behaving unreasonably.

The skill, which takes time and real persistence to develop, is to find a way to behave rationally, almost in a detached way, seeking positives where less skilled behaviour would not.

Try these three techniques...

Don't attack a position, look behind it.

Don't defend your ideas, invite criticism and advice.

Recast an attack on you as an attack on the problem.

 

A lot more on this and many other free downloads at my website: www.andrewgibbons.co.uk 

16.19 Incisive Questions 4-6 of 9 from ‘Time to Think‘

With Rebecca Norton I explore the second group of three of nine incisive questions from Nancy Klines' classic book 'Time to Think'.

The three we work on in this first of three recordings are:

 At the end of your career in this organisation, what do you want to say you have achieved here?

 What needs to improve here that I haven't noticed - if you had to take the lead suddenly what

 would you do differently?

 What are we not facing, that needs to be worked on?

Powerful, challenging, concise, direct questions.

Questions that in the right context, and managed well, can unlock issues that immediately impact on performance.

Asked of teams or one-to-one, these questions can open up the issues that had been constraining performance, and clarify actions needed to release potential and genuinely manage talent.

 

A lot more on this and many other free downloads at my website: www.andrewgibbons.co.uk 

14.13 Incisive questions 1-3, of 9 from ‘Time to Think‘

With Rebecca Norton I explore the first three of nine incisive questions from Nancy Klines' classic book 'Time to Think'.

The three we work on in this first of three recordings are:

    What do you really think?

    If you were in my position, what would you do that I am not doing?

    What do we assume, that probably limits everything that we do?

Powerful, challenging, concise, direct questions.

Questions that in the right context, and managed well, can unlock issues that immediately impact on performance.

Asked of teams or one-to-one, these questions can open up the issues that had been constraining performance, and clarify actions needed to release potential and genuinely manage talent.

 

A lot more on this and many other free downloads at my website: www.andrewgibbons.co.uk 

0.59 Leadership defined in five words

Too many definitions of leadership are wordy and often unrecognisable in true, everyday practice.

I have used my preferred definition for many decades.

Two key words in the five, that emphasise the 'values' element and the core of any leadership role.

A lot of ground covered I feel in a minute!

 

A lot more on this and many other free downloads at my website: www.andrewgibbons.co.uk 

10.52 Narration of Direct Quotes from the Promise that Changes Everything

Nancy Klines' 2020 book is subtitled 'I will not interrupt you'.

That is some promise.

This is some book.

Here are my typed up selected directed quotes from the first 27 pages.

Lots more to come, and if you want the four pages of quotes so far, email me at andrew@andrewgibbons.co.uk 

0.58 Four ways to help people listen to you

Here in less than sixty seconds, I suggest we can do four specific things that will make it more likely (no promises), that people will listen to what we have to say:

    Consciously speak on a topic of real interest to the listener

    Speak for short periods

    Don't interrupt, and show interest in the listener when they speak

    Relate what you say directly to the listener, their interests and issues

 

A lot more on this and many other free downloads at my website: www.andrewgibbons.co.uk 

 

15.07 Narration of Time to Think quotes pages 128-end

My fourth and final narration of direct quotes from this landmark book.

Here Nancy Kline challenges many accepted 'best practices', for instance, seeing much of what we call 'coaching' as thinking for others, and 'infantilising'.

 

The complete summary is at my website: www.andrewgibbons.co.uk

 

1.00 Can we truly give attention...three tests

In this 'Monday minute' episode, I put the three challenges Nancy Kline passionately advocates in her remarkable book 'Time to Think'.

The first of the ten components of a 'Thinking Environment' is Attention.

Attention is shown Nancy says, by showing sincerely, genuinely, credibly three key behaviours:

        Respect

        Interest

        Fascination

Three words, and what a challenge...

So, control interruptions; manage distractions; really and truly focus on the other person; interrupt at least less, and at the right time, ask interested questions, inviting more.

I told you it was a challenge...and by the way, don't expect this back!

 

A lot more on this and many other free downloads at my website: www.andrewgibbons.co.uk 

15.04 Why do we interrupt?

Interruptions disrupt and prolong conversations.

Surely if we could control our interruptions we would develop more positive relationships and make conversations more productive.

We interrupt for many reasons, these 'reasons' are excuses, and typically not very good ones.

Here, I explore some of the reasons we interrupt, and touch on the harmful effects.

Can we learn the difficult skill of managing interruptions? 

Do we feel the effort is worth making?

I for one believe it is worth developing the self-awareness and working through the frustration in order to be one of the few that are at least thought to interrupt less than most!

 

A lot more on this and many other free downloads at my website: www.andrewgibbons.co.uk