The learning ear

15.49 Why is listening so hard?

With Rebecca Norton I explore how to be a better listener, and some of the reasons so many of us find this harder than we really should.

Listening can be a learned skill - if the desire is strong enough.

As ever, we keep this real and practical, recognising that making progress with listening is not easy, and those few that do this well are remembered long after showing they are one of the very few!

13.17 What value from a retreat?

I question (interrogate?) Rebecca Norton on what a retreat is all about.

Rebecca facilitates these regularly, and I am keen to know how such events help re-connection, deep reflection and a chance to think, away from distractions of all sorts.

This brought me a lot of insight - I hope it does for you... 

15.08 Why do coaches and clients feel it just doesn't work?

With Rebecca Norton we very honestly and directly explore why we feel a coaching relationship would not or does not work.

We also hit the less comfortable issue of why a potential or current coaching client does not want to take us on or may feel it's time to end an existing set of contacts.

We draw on our learning and experiences spanning many years, and try to give insights that may help other practitioners to best manage this very contextual, individualised issue.

18.36 Using silence as an interpersonal tool

In this recording with Rebecca Norton I explore the deliberate, intentional use of silence, maybe for just a few seconds, during conversation and within groups to give thinking time, generate better ideas and respectfully pause to analyse what has been said.

Why is the thought, and particularly the experience of silence such a problem for so many?

Why are 'empty words' and 'worthless noise' preferred to taking just a little time out, not as a passive space, for purposeful thinking that's impossible without a pause in the noise?

Silence is the productive space of the busy thinker.

Seek even 30 seconds of silent time in a meeting and you may well see people reaching for their phones - silence is typically not seen as real work. Talking over people and showing you aren't listening too often seems to be thought of more favourably.

Plenty here to ponder (in silence?), and a challenge - work harder to find your own productive silent space, and if you are up for it, use this in real interactions - even those chaotic meetings where not even listening happens, never mind reflective silence .

16.24 The horns and halo effects in a coaching context

With Rebecca Norton I discuss the horns and halo effect and the rational or otherwise influence this can have on coaching.

It is I feel, natural that we respond most positively to those we work with that are engaged and have a desire to enhance performance. Equally I have found I have to work harder help a less committed client.

This has many other implications for a coach, and we explore some of these in this short recording.

15.10 Mostly in praise of scientists

Another very powerful learning conversation with Rebecca Norton. Here we start with an overview of Rebecca's learning from a recently listened to podcast summarising the 'Politician, Preacher, Prosecutor' model, then morphed into the specific and so valuable qualities, as podcasted, of a 'Scientist'.

We both admire the curiosity, appetite for experimentation, persistence and systematic organisation of a scientist, and how they typically have a desire to find better solutions to challenges without being bound to a particular position or belief.

To treat a position as a hypothesis, not an immovable belief that is stubbornly protected beyond logic seems a far more positive place to be than we both see too often within organisational life.

9.11 Three rarely seen coaching skills

For me a real coach does this:

    1. Understands client context

    2. Finds all the time real help takes

    3. Is genuinely led by the client

A clock-watching, imparter of wisdom is not a coach.

 

15.20 Make more of the different qualities of women leaders

Sarae Pratt specialises in the development of women leaders. Here we discuss and explore what specific and different (to men) contributions to workplace effectiveness women can make.

I have long felt that women at all levels in organisations make 'better' leaders, measured by the range and depth of their capabilities. Not an 85/15% split, but definitely a 50 something/40 something%, and here we begin the explanation without generalising, the particular skills women in the most positive environments can bring to the leadership mix.

This is a complex, nuanced and organisationally specific set of inter-related issues. The complexity I feel should not prevent a genuine effort to identify and optimise the value of what is so often an under-utilised resource.

Lots of personal learning here for me, and I hope for you...part 2 coming soon.

13.28 The financial penalty of employee loyalty

Forbes reckons the lost salary value of staying with an employer for your entire career rather than regularly moving jobs is around 50% of all earnings.

That's very significant, and whatever the true value person by person, it does true that the 'movers' gain an income value over the 'loyalists'. I

t's not that simple - people stay for reasons other than loyalty.

People leave for other reasons than to earn more...many would rather stay.

Can employers do more to retain high-value people others want?

Many more questions and issues explored in this learning conversation.

13.34 Review of learning from Webinar: ’Getting the most from introverts’

With Rebecca Norton I reflect upon our learning from Monday's webinar, which, with a powerful mix of predominantly introverts and extroverts provided plenty of new thoughts and insights.

Here we pick out some specific ways, particularly during meetings, the typically under-used talents of introverts can be used with far greater impact and effect by doing some simple things that only require a little time and the will to better manage this invisible resource.

14.32 Review of learning from the ’Managing interruptions’ free event

Here with Rob Knowles, we pick out our learning from last week's 'Understanding and managing interruptions' free zoom hour.

Interruptions, and how to control them is a rarely considered, and I believe very significant factor in enhancing the value of conversation.

We highlight in this short video just some of the most obvious and impactful behaviours that really can, with effort be managed, with immediate pay-back.

I run two free numbers-restricted one hour network events a month.

More details at my website: www.andrewgibbons.co.uk

16.13 How can we use time more effectively?

Here, with Rebecca Norton, we take an honest and self-critical look at how we use time.

Do we under or over load, over or under expect?

Are we clear about what anything we do should ultimately achieve?

How good are we at manging distractions, and recognising that we interrupt ourselves more often than anyone else?

As ever, a thoroughly worthwhile learning conversation, well worth the investment of 16 minutes!

4.45 Six steps to real learning

From thinking to action in six steps - this for me is the path to real learning.

Thinking isn't learning, thoughts are too often fleeting and then then lost.

Real learning, I feel goes through six stages, which make take minutes or many years.

Do we often enough persist beyond the easy steps through the more rewarding difficult obstacles, to gain real, sustainable applied learning?

Do we too often see insufficient immediate pay-back to make the effort the highest value learning requires?

Any thoughts?

15.44 Review of learning from the Dunning/Kruger network event

Here John Whitfield and I reflect on the key learning points that emerged from the previous day's networking event, specifically that: The skills required to directly and sensitively steer enthusiastic, energised, committed typically young early careers 'over-projectors' of competence is rarely seen, and unlikely to be found in the ranks of operationally over-loaded line management.

Grappling with issues highlighted by the Dunning/Kruger model are the real talent management challenges.

Talent is fragile and mobile, organisations just don't seem to see these really difficult retention issues as a priority. So many early careers people with high hopes and ambition leave because they are not sufficiently cared for or nurtured.

The focus of talent management is too often confined almost entirely to those at the start of a career. There are different and difficult challenges awaiting those who seek to get the most from later life employees who too often self-doubt, and question the very existence of their accumulated expertise.

The model is not rigid, holistic or generic. Thus many will not be subject to the model which is a generalised analysis, and for some it is best understood as an inversion, with a need to self-perceive an early competence others see most clearly. Equally, specific elements of a role can each be considered using the model, rather than the complete whole.

This is an excellent model with which to engage in a 'where do you see yourself?' conversation. That dialogue is best managed continuously and not at a rushed, superficial annual review.

I have summarised this video with timings - email me if of interest.

andrew@andrewgibbons.co.uk

22.16 Nine under-used qualities of introverts

With regular 'learning conversation' partner Rebecca Norton, I explore the appalling lack of value placed on the invisible, quiet power of introverts.

The deeper I dive into the hugely impressive skillset of introverts the more clear I become that this contrasts so strongly with people like me - noisy, ego-driven, interrupting extroverts who achieve less in a lot more time.

The nine introvert qualities we discussed are:

Active listeners - lets others speak without interruption

Respectful of confidentiality, are reliable and trustworthy

Introspective, self-aware, knows own strengths and development needs

Emotionally intelligent, perceptive, intuitive, tolerant

Process internally, reflectively, not verbally and superficially

Appetite for deeper, detailed, challenging interactions

More informed actions resulting from high quality thinking

Imaginative, curious, creative - excellent problem solvers

Compassionate, empathic, likeable, not out to impress

Do you know of an organisation that could do with more people with these qualities? Well, they are most likely there already, and their massive potential contributions are simply eclipsed and devalued by the noisy dominators!

15.57 How can we become more self aware?

The journey to self awareness, if pursued, can be long and challenging. Here, with Rebecca Norton, I touch the surface of a hugely deep issue that influences our behaviour in very significant ways.

Do we have the desire to start this journey? What prompts this? Can the will be summoned to confront the insights and revelations?

Is self awareness always a positive thing? Is it best to remain un-aware?

We raise a lot more issues than we even begin to work upon, and will return to this fascinating, troubling topic.

This is the second in a two part series (so far), the first of which was posted here a week earlier.

12.11 What is self awareness?

With Rebecca Norton I explore just what self-awareness actually means, and its significance in many contexts - for instance interpersonal and developmental.

The definition of self awareness we work from is from Duval and Walduck: 'The ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts or emotions do or don't align with your internal standards'.

So many ways to better understand this massively important topic, and this is but a start - part two follows, the focus of which is how to gain more self-awareness, and some of the key issues and challenges.

12.09 Expert, enthusiast and entertainer - which are you?

Expert, Entertainer and Enthusiast. When we lead learning - from one to one coaching, or stage presentations to very large numbers, we are seen as one of the 'E's more than the others, and we project, often consciously and deliberately, one or more over the other.

Experts can be dull, entertainers can lack substance, enthusiasts may lack credibility.

Do we know our 'natural', authentic default? What combinations can we adopt to suit specific contexts?

Here in an honest appraisal, I discuss with Rebecca Norton the key issues and how this can significantly impact the success and results from our activity.

15.57 Why ’walk and talk’ coaching works

Here Rebecca Norton explains her 'clarity in motion' method of coaching in the outdoors.

This was a really enlightening recording, giving a powerful insight into how moving about without walls can truly free up thinking space and energise.

We will do more on this, as there are so many issues to explore that can (with the right weather), enhance the value of a coaching experience.

13.40 Creating a learning culture is really difficult

Here, Jacky Leonard and I work on what typically needs to change to truly create an organisational environment where talent is recognised and nurtured.

We feel that line management have a major role to play, and that unless they are measured and remunerated on their development responsibilities it is perfectly reasonable to expect them to find other, higher priorities.

It makes business sense to get the most from people, and yet beyond the fine words, too often there is little or no indications of genuinely valuing employees at all levels - so they leave and seek this elsewhere.

Towards the end of this short recording I begin to feel that current practices are too embedded, and the risks too great for large organisations in particular to change 'the ways things are done around here' - their developmental culture.